Constellations

Achieving consistency beyond singularity. 

Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a recipe to success, a guide to life that we could follow to proof our plans? Management books and bookstores’ self-help sections are filled with useful techniques. A common one consists of asking aspiring or actual leaders about their life plans. “What will you be in 5-10 years?”, “what is your North Star?”, or the grim “who would you like to attend your funeral?”

The popularity of such approaches stems from their reassuring practicality. If you know where you want to go, then it becomes easier to design roadmaps, choose the right path when at a crossroad, or say “no” at diverting options along the way. Equally important is the storytelling potential of life plans and vision boards, as if the meaning of events was predetermined.  

Sometimes though, teleology conflicts with personality, or more trivially put, life or ego gets in the way. If goals are helpful for creating a healthy desire to progress, challenges come from a misunderstanding of consistency as having a single goal or not allowing for true happiness.

“How can we get direction whilst simultaneously being open to what comes our way?”, asked the Mouse.

Sticking with the stellar metaphor which serves both practical and romantic needs, one can think of one’s life as a constellation. What fills one’s sky is intimate; constellations may reflect dreams, goals, hopes, and milestones. 

The shapes we can pick out by connecting stars feeds our need to “make sense” of things, and give meaning to our actions, and our lives. With it comes the realisation that meaning is derived from our ability to reflect on our journey, and to share what we see with others.

Hence, in constellations, one will also recognise the presence of significant people, relatives, friends, or strangers who have crossed our path in times of need. Ultimately, they are the ones we seek validation from and to whom we are grateful when success rewards our efforts. 

Of course, one must do more than simply figuring out life goals and role models. It is about knowing which stars keep on shining when the sky gets cloudy, and the role they play in one’s personal navigation system. Is it a significant other – in flesh or spirit – or an ambition – secret or claimed –?

As we progress on our own journeys, we come to realise that we are not only made of the forces that drive us and keep us going, but also of those that stop us. Serendipitously, such detours bring meaning into our lives in a humbler way, by manifesting themselves through unforeseen events. 

Still, figuring out the meaning of obstacles requires ‘letting go’ and resisting post-rationalisation and overthinking. Being present without being active is key. 

Those who manage to do so may find hope in every challenge, realising that when constellations are hidden by a cloudy sky, what we need is in fact right in front of us. When life challenges our need for tangible meaning, we can find consistency in the way we look at what is presented to us, or at least in the attempt to keep an open mind.

This may be the difference between success and fulfilment, and between growth and development.

Baptiste Raymond - 05/2022.