Tuning in to the Right Frequency

In conversation with José Pascal da Rocha.

José Pascal da Rocha is a Tusker Club Fellow. As a lecturer, mediator, and corporate consultant, he brings over 20 years of experience in volatile environments and international mediation. He has contributed to more than 15 peace agreements and provides advisory services for US Fortune 250 companies in change management and intercultural communication. As a leader, Pascal knows how to tune in with others and inspire them to find solutions in the most protracted situations.

Tusker Club - As a mediator, you have gathered profound expertise in many international peace processes. In your practice, what role does emotional intelligence play?

Pascal da Rocha - Emotional intelligence has only appeared quite recently in the field of mediation and negotiation. The fundamental book on the Harvard Negotiation Principle, “Getting to Yes”, states that one should not base a response or strategy on emotions, and this idea has been repeated in other areas that try to find alternative ways to resolve issues, such as in politics.

However, in the last few years, there has been an increasing recognition that emotions play a key role when it comes to facilitating parties to move toward constructive conflict management. The work done in psychology or neuroscience has acknowledged the role of emotions to contain destructive tendencies and maintain relationships.

Nowadays, both in international relations and business settings, the capacity to recognise your feelings and those of others is seen as a cornerstone for leaders.

TC - Your work relies on trust between all parties involved. How do you build trust and psychological safety, and how do you rely on emotions to do so?

PdR - As a mediator, your job is to find a way to inspire actors to leave a specific destructive mentality behind and embrace something new. Trust is always a big word, but you can at least increase confidence by showing willingness and ability to listen. This means listening to people’s needs, emotions, and the web of their own logic, and being available, present, and reliable.

It is especially important when people have different communication styles. As a leader, you need to align communication preferences. It is also important that parties know that they can reach out to you at any time, even if you are far away, until they feel secure in the relationship with you.

TC - As an expert on process facilitation, you have faced many high-pressure situations. How do you balance the need for results with the emotional process of the people involved?

PdR - It starts by building on your own self-awareness. As a third party coming into the process, you must be able to recognise your own emotions and the role these feelings have in your decision- making process. Then, you have to gain awareness of the emotions of others. Fixing emotions is neither my job nor my expertise. Rather, I focus on exploring the ‘emotional roadmap’ to identify triggers and drivers of confidence, insecurity, or fear. This helps me manage impulsive reactions more productively (including my own).

This is no easy task. Just like in any other part of life, egos or power can sometimes take over and unfortunately guide some of our work. Letting your ego take the lead is a sign that you are not doing the right job as a mediator. You need to be humble and honest with yourself, and you must understand the limitations of your mandate and decide beforehand whether you can achieve a certain outcome.

In the midst of negotiation, the very least is to manage the relationship, which is the most basic requirement for mediation or teamwork. This way, even when things don’t go as intended, you are able to maintain an effective network and thereby become a more effective leader in the long run. If you can manage the relationships, albeit challenging circumstances, then you are on the right path.

TC - What are the most common challenges you see many people and organisations face? And where do you see possible avenues to overcome them?

PdR - To manage not only the rational but the emotional part of a process, you must give it undivided attention, which can be very difficult. In my experience as a mentor, I find that many do listen and pay attention to detail in conversations, but do I really have their undivided attention? Many are simultaneously concerned with other problems like budget or strategy. There is a need for leaders to refocus their attention in and on the moment.

However, I am critical of applying blueprint approaches to build emotion management skills in leaders. To me, leadership is a mentality – which is driven by the context you operate in. Leadership in Japan is different from leadership in France, for instance. Hence, depending on whom you ask, you might get different ideas on how to effectively build these skills. We need to approach skill-building with an adaptive and agile mindset.

My approach is rather inductive: I try to model the behaviour I want to see either at the negotiation table or in a team. So, I try to inspire, motivate, or focus on common ground myself. If you critique others for not paying enough attention, you must be the first to live by the same standard and be involved with your entire persona: your ears, your eyes, your heart, your words, and your undivided attention. You must be reliable and available to influence, inspire, and shepherd thestakeholders you are dealing with.

TC - As a leader yourself, what is the thing that you think other leaders can take away from the practice of mediation?

PdR - The most essential overlap of being an international mediator and being a leader is that you need to motivate and inspire people, not for them to become friends, but to find new solutions. When people feel valued, it becomes easier to understand and explore (sometimes hidden) interests and desires. Tapping into those will allow you to embrace complexity and find a way out of a conundrum.

It is important for leaders, in alignment with their own leadership style, to apply the same vigour that is awarded to more cognitive results-based management frameworks, to the handling of emotions. Tuning into that emotional channel, to me, is like sitting in front of an FM radio: you have to tune in on the right frequency and stabilize it throughout the process.

Interview by Vera Hampel - 02/2023.